Continuing Bonds: How to Stay Connected to a Pet Who's Passed
When we lose a beloved pet, the love doesn’t disappear. Their memory, their presence, the little rituals you shared—those things linger. In grief psychology, there’s a name for that ongoing connection: continuing bonds. It’s the idea that even after they’re gone, we still carry our pets with us.
For some, that connection brings peace. For others, it makes grief feel heavier. But either way, it’s completely normal. And when you understand how to nurture that bond in a healthy way, it can actually support your healing.
🐾 What Are Continuing Bonds?
Continuing bonds are the quiet ways we stay connected to pets who are no longer physically here. You might:
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Talk to them in your head (or out loud).
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Keep their collar, favorite toy, or blanket.
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Still feel them in your routine—their favorite window spot, the sound of their paws.
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Create something in their honor, like a photo album, a framed sketch, or a custom stuffed animal made to look just like them.
These actions don’t mean you’re stuck. They mean you’re still loving them, just differently.
📉 Why Attachment Style Shapes Grief
How we grieve is deeply connected to how we love. Psychologists often talk about attachment styles:
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If you had a secure bond with your pet, their memory might feel like a comforting presence.
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If you lean toward anxious attachment, grief can hit harder. You might feel lost or desperate to keep the connection alive.
Neither response is wrong. It just helps to know where you are, so you can find healthy ways to stay close and give yourself room to breathe.
✨ Ways to Keep Their Memory Close
Here are a few gentle, healthy ways to hold onto your continuing bond:
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Make a small memorial space at home with their photo, a candle, or their tag.
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Wear a keepsake, like a paw print necklace or bracelet engraved with their name.
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Write to them when the feelings get too big—a journal entry, a letter, even a text to yourself.
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Talk about them. Share a story with someone who gets it. Join a support group. Post a photo.
And if you need something physical to hold onto, a custom plush in their likeness can be surprisingly comforting. It doesn’t replace them—but it gives your hands and heart something familiar to reach for.
💞 Final Thoughts
The connection we share with our pets doesn’t end when they leave. It just changes. And by giving that bond a place in your life, you let the love stay.
Grief and healing can exist side by side. You don’t have to let go to move forward—you just have to find new ways to hold on.
References:
Full article: Attachment styles, continuing bonds, and grief following companion animal death
Continuing Bonds and Psychosocial Adjustment in Pet Loss | Request PDF